Captain Cat and the Treasure Map Read online

  Contents

  Cover

  Title page

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Exclusive extract from Captain Cat’s next adventure

  About the author

  About the illustrator

  Copyright page

  It was a sunny morning on board the Golden Earring and Patch the pirate puss was patrolling the ship, sniffing the salty sea air.

  There was Cutlass the green pirate parrot, thinking up brilliant new jokes.

  There was Monty the annoying ship’s monkey, picking his fleas and eating bananas.

  And there was Captain Halibut, working hard as usual … Oh. Wait, no, he wasn’t. He was putting his foot up and snoozing in a deckchair.

  Patch gave her claws a sneaky sharpening on the mast while he wasn’t looking.

  ‘Tum-te-tum,’ she hummed under her breath.

  Around the other side of the ship, a disgusting stink wafted out from the galley kitchen where the ship’s cook, Cannonball, was making his famous tentacle stew. Famously BAD, that is. Patch hurried quickly through the pong, eyes watering. Yuck.

  An even more revolting smell wafted out from the ship’s toilet where Butch … well, actually, let’s not go into details about what Butch was doing.

  ‘Pooh,’ muttered Patch, wrinkling her nose and walking even faster.

  Exactly.

  Meanwhile, Ginger was in the crow’s nest. She was the only pirate brave enough to climb all the way up there. ‘Eleven o’clock and all’s well, me hearties,’ she called down.

  Arrrr, this is the life, thought Patch, settling down in a warm spot of sunshine for a cosy cat-nap. The ship was peaceful. Everything was calm. Shush … shush … sighed the sea against the sides of the ship and, for once, even the screeching seagulls fell silent.

  Then the trouble started.

  BANG! went the kitchen door, swinging open as Cannonball staggered out. He was carrying an enormous pot, piled so high with potatoes that he couldn’t see over the top of them.

  ‘Ginger!’ he yelled. ‘Where is she? Ginger, I’ve got a job for you!’

  ‘Ahoy!’ Ginger replied cheerfully, scrambling down the rigging. ‘On my way, Cannonball.’

  Patch opened her one green eye and spied Monty, who was chortling naughtily as he chucked a banana skin in front of the cook.

  ‘Uh-oh!’ she cried, jumping up at once. But she was too late.

  Cannonball stepped on the banana skin and his feet skidded out from under him. Wheeeeee! ‘Whoooaaa!’ he shouted.

  THUMP!

  ‘Oof!’ went the cook, landing splat on his back.

  CLANG! went the pot as it dropped from his hands.

  THUD THUD THUD THUD THUDDETY THUD went the potatoes rolling and bowling all over the deck.

  As the wave of spuds thundered straight at her, Patch leapt out the way, her paws outstretched.

  ‘Meooow!’ she cried in alarm.

  ‘Watch out!’ squawked Cutlass.

  ‘Wahhhh!’ yelped Ginger, swerving to dodge the flying cat. But she swerved a bit too far, and …

  SPLOSH! Ginger plunged headfirst into the sea, splattering the snoozing captain with cold, salty water.

  ‘What the …?’ spluttered Captain Halibut, falling out of his deckchair.

  ‘HELP!’ wailed Ginger from the water, arms flailing.

  ‘PIRATE OVERBOARD!’ screeched Cutlass, flying around in circles. ‘GINGER OVERBOARD!’

  Unfortunately, none of the pirates understood parrot language. They didn’t speak cat or monkey either. While this meant that Patch, Cutlass and Monty could say anything they liked about the crew without them knowing, it also meant that sometimes – like now! – it wasn’t very easy to alert the pirates to danger.

  Hearing the racket, Butch charged out from the toilet, still pulling up his pants.

  ‘NOBODY PANIC!’ he bellowed. But then he saw his shipmate struggling in the sea and clapped his hands to his face. ‘HELP! SHE’S GOING TO DROWN!’ he shrieked.

  Cannonball sat up and rubbed his round, shiny head. ‘My potatoes …’ he moaned.

  ‘Devil’s dogfish,’ growled Captain Halibut, stamping to the side of the ship. Stamp-clonk, stamp-clonk went the sound of his wooden leg.

  ‘What’s all the rumpus?’

  ‘I’m … blub-blub-blub … sinking!’ gulped Ginger, thrashing about below.

  Honestly, thought Patch, strolling across the deck towards a large coil of rope. Sometimes pirates are soooo useless! She shoved at the rope with her paws, sending one end snaking over the side of the ship.

  ‘Ahoy, Cutlass!’ she yelled, and the parrot flapped across the ship, grabbed the rope in his beak and swooped down with it to Ginger.

  Then he fluttered back to high-five Patch, claw to paw.

  Patch smiled. ‘Easy-peasy!’

  ‘Heave! Heave! Heave!’ grunted Butch, doing his best to haul Ginger out of the sea.

  ‘Coo-ee! Let me help!’ came a voice. Patch peered overboard to see a mermaid who’d just popped up in the sea nearby.

  ‘Hurrrggh-ha!’ And with her mighty mermaid muscles she gave Ginger a powerful push.

  ‘Whoaaa!’ yelled Ginger, flying through the air. She fell onto the deck, dripping wet and puffing like a puffer fish. ‘Phew. Thanks, Shelly!’ she called to the friendly mermaid, who gave her a cheerful wave in return. Then Ginger shook herself dry, sneezed some seaweed out of her nose and held up a green glass bottle with a cork in one end.

  ‘Guys, look what I found,’ she said with a watery grin.

  ‘Is it rum?’ asked Cannonball hopefully.

  Ginger yanked out the cork with her teeth and peered into the bottle.

  ‘There’s some paper inside,’ she said, pulling it out carefully. ‘Ooh!’ she exclaimed, dropping the bottle as she unrolled a weathered old scroll. ‘It’s a map!’

  Patch pricked up her ears at Ginger’s excited voice. A map? Cool!

  Ginger peered at the parchment, scratching her head. ‘Cuh-cuh-CUSTARD, tuh-tuh-TREATS map!’ she spelled out, then beamed. ‘Oh yay, I love custard!’

  Cutlass landed on a nearby cannon. ‘I say, I say, I say: what’s yellow and stupid?’ he squawked to Patch.

  ‘I know what’s green and stupid,’ called Monty nastily, dangling upside down from the rigging and showing everyone his horrid pink monkey bottom.

  The other two ignored him.

  ‘Thick custard,’ Cutlass laughed to Patch. ‘Get it, matey? Thick custard!’

  Captain Halibut snatched the map from Ginger.

  ‘I’ll have that,’ he snapped, then gave one of his legendary nostril-quivering snorts as he read the map. ‘It doesn’t say custard treats, you deep-sea dimwit, it says cursed treasure!’

  ‘Talking of thick …’ Patch whispered to Cutlass.

  ‘Whoops,’ said Ginger, looking disappointed. ‘I fancied a custard treat.’

  Captain Halibut did not look disappointed. His moustache was practically waggling with joy. ‘Who cares about custard when this is a treasure map?’ he cheered. ‘Goody gumdrops! Butch, steer the ship starboard and bring her about immediately. Keep your eyes peeled for an island. We’re going treasure hunting!’

  Butch didn’t move – apart from his big burly knees, which were knocking together with fright. ‘But, C-c-captain … what about the c-c-curse?’ he said, his voice going wibblywobbly. ‘C-c-cursed treasure sounds d-d-dangerous.’

  ‘Codswallop,’ scoffed the captain. ‘If there’s treasure for the taking, then I’m the pirate to pilfer it. Har
d starboard, I say – and see to it smartly. Heave ho!’

  Butch’s shoulders slumped and he gave a little whimper, but he did as he was told. The captain stamp-clonked away while Ginger and Cannonball started picking up the potatoes.

  Patch eyed Cutlass. ‘Cursed treasure? Sounds a bit fishy …’ she said worriedly. Then a dreamy smile rippled her whiskers. ‘Mmmm … fish …’ she sighed.

  ‘Arrrr, wait, there’s something left in the bottle!’ Cutlass exclaimed, peering through the green glass. The bottle had rolled to a stop by the gunpowder barrels, and Patch padded over to see. Cutlass was right – it looked as if there was a second piece of paper inside.

  Patch tried to push a paw into the bottle, but it didn’t quite fit. Luckily, Ginger had left her fishing rod nearby – which had a sharp hook on the end – so Patch and Cutlass were able to catch and pull out the paper. As she unfolded it and saw what was scrawled there, Patch felt her fur tingle all over.

  In red handwriting – was it blood? Patch wondered – was the following message:

  ‘What does it say, Cap’n? What does it say?’ Cutlass asked, hopping from one foot to the other.

  Patch read the warning aloud and they both shivered. ‘Certain death?’ Patch mewed, whiskers quivering. ‘I don’t fancy giving up any of my nine lives yet. We’ve got to show this to Halibut, at the double!’

  But before they could take the warning anywhere, Monty swung down from the rigging and grabbed the paper.

  ‘Can’t catch me!’ he cried, scrambling back up again at top speed and diving behind a sail. ‘You scurvy scoundrel!’ cried Patch, chasing after him with Cutlass.

  Giggling, Monty waved the paper in the air … but moments later the smirk was wiped right off his face when the wind snatched it from his paw and sent it spinning out to sea.

  ‘Whoops,’ he gulped.

  ‘No!’ yowled Patch in dismay as the paper bobbed on the water for a few moments, then sank below the surface. ‘Now the pirates won’t get to see the message – which means they won’t know about the warning of CERTAIN DEATH!’

  ‘ARRK! What are we going to do?’ squawked Cutlass, flying around in circles.

  Monty’s lip quivered. ‘I’m sorry, Cap’n Patch,’ he cried. ‘I’m really ever so sorry!’

  Captain Halibut, who was peering at the treasure map nearby, looked up with a scowl. Even though the animals could all understand each other perfectly well, when they spoke, it sounded to the pirates as if they were just meowing, squawking and making monkey noises.

  ‘Stop that racket, for Davy Jones’s sake,’ he thundered, tossing his black curls with a dangerous glare. ‘Or I’ll introduce you to the nearest cannon!’

  The captain’s temper was enough to stop even the bravest of pirate cats, so Patch slunk off to the starboard side of the ship, with Cutlass flying beside her.

  ‘This is a pirate pickle, all right,’ Patch muttered, twitching her tail. ‘We can’t let the crew get their hands on the cursed treasure, Cutlass. We just can’t!’

  ‘You know what the captain’s like about treasure, though,’ Cutlass said worriedly.

  Patch did know. Even in his sleep Captain Halibut would sometimes murmur about gold and silver and jewels.

  ‘Well, somehow or other we’re just going to have to make it extra difficult for the pirates to find the treasure,’ she said. ‘If we can only think up a super-sneaky plan first.’

  ‘A super-sneaky plan,’ Cutlass repeated. He cocked his head to one side and thought hard. ‘Maybe if we map out a few ideas, we could—’

  Patch clapped her paws together. ‘The map – that’s it!’ she cried. ‘You’re a genius, Cutlass.’

  ‘I am?’ asked Cutlass in surprise.

  ‘All we need to do is sneak that treasure map away from the pirates,’ Patch explained, ‘and then they won’t even be able to find the island, let alone—’

  ‘Land ahoy!’ shouted Butch at that moment, his eye to the telescope. ‘Treasure island straight ahead, Cap’n!’ he bellowed. ‘I found it!’

  ‘Oh … poop decks,’ Patch cursed. ‘And double poop decks!’

  ‘Splendid,’ replied Captain Halibut, striding over to join Butch. Stamp-clonk, stamp-clonk. Then he frowned, squinting into the distance. ‘Shiver me timbers!’ he shouted. ‘Can it be true? Hand me that there telescope!’

  Just then Ginger called, ‘Ship ahoy!’ from the crow’s nest.

  ‘Uh-oh,’ said Butch, peering out to the horizon. ‘Is that who I think it is?’

  ‘It’s the Black Heart and her terrible crew,’ Captain Halibut replied grimly, a steely glint in his eye. ‘And what, I would like to know, are they doing in these waters?’

  Patch and Cutlass turned to look. Far in the distance they could just make out an island covered with palm trees and golden sands, with a skull-shaped mountain looming behind. And there, heading straight towards one of its coves, was a second pirate ship. Black sails fluttered from the ship’s masts, with a ragged skull-and-crossbones flag flapping in the breeze right at the very top.

  Butch’s lower lip was wobbling. ‘They must have heard about this treasure too, I reckon.’ He shuffled nervously from foot to foot. ‘And those Black Heart scoundrels are really scary. Really scary and mean!’

  Cutlass edged closer to Patch. ‘These pirates all look the same to me, Cap’n,’ he confessed. ‘Which ones are the Black Heart crew again?’

  ‘They’re led by the evil and villainous Captain Crunchbone,’ Patch whispered in reply. ‘Captain Halibut’s biggest rival. There’s no way Halibut will want him to get his hooks on the booty!’

  Captain Halibut had indeed turned purple at the sight of the enemy ship. ‘Handsomely now, me hearties!’ he roared, tattoos a-tremble. ‘Full sail, I say! We’ve got to get to the treasure before Crunchbone – and that’s an order!’

  Patch felt her fur prickling. She had a bad feeling about this!

  ‘Whatever Captain Halibut says, we can’t let our crew get the cursed treasure,’ she said to Cutlass. ‘So we need to work out how to stop them – and fast!’

  Unfortunately for Patch, there was a wild westerly wind behind the Golden Earring that sent their ship speeding across the sea. But as swiftly as the Golden Earring sailed, it wasn’t quite swift enough to catch up with the Black Heart.

  ‘Hurry up, you bilge-sucking buffoons!’ Captain Halibut howled to his crew as they saw the rival ship drop anchor ahead of them. ‘They’re getting away!’ he groaned as the Black Heart pirates leaped triumphantly onto the island and charged off into the undergrowth.

  ‘You never know, they might have just come here for a little holiday,’ Ginger said. ‘They might not even like treasure.’

  ‘And anyway Cap’n, they don’t have our map,’ Cannonball reminded him.

  ‘Gaaah! If I know Crunchbone, he’ll have his own map,’ Captain Halibut fumed, stamping up and down impatiently. ‘But we must not let him steal my gold and silver and jewels.’ He thumped a nearby cannon for good measure. CLANG! ‘Do you hear me? That treasure is mine and I intend to claim it!’

  ‘Aye aye, Cap’n,’ said Butch, hunching over the ship’s wheel and concentrating with all his twenty-seven brain cells as he steered the Golden Earring into port. ‘The treasure’s mine. Yep, got it.’

  ‘Mine, not yours!’ yelled the captain in exasperation. ‘My treasure! MINE!’

  ‘That’s what I said,’ Butch replied, looking confused. ‘My treasure. Mine. Anyway, here we are, Cap’n,’ he added as the captain turned bright red and looked as if he was about to start shouting again. ‘Lower the gangplank!’

  ‘Anchor’s away,’ called Ginger, heaving it into the water with a SPLOSH.

  Crouched near the bow, Patch and Cutlass peered out at the island while the pirates prepared to land. In front of them lay a wide golden beach, with dense forest and a rocky mountain further back. Brightly coloured parrots shrieked from the palm trees, and Cutlass waved a wing in greeting with a cheery ‘Alright, lads?’

>   Patch took one look at the sandy beach and then stared down at her paws with a moggie shudder. She might be a pirate cat, but she hated getting sand in her fur. UGH!

  Still – this was an important mission, she reminded herself. If they could stop the Golden Earring pirates claiming the cursed treasure, it would be well worth a spot of paw-licking later!

  Down went the gang-plank and the crew hurried off the ship.

  ‘The race is ON!’ cried Captain Halibut as he charged towards the beach.

  ‘Come on,’ called Patch, scampering after the pirates, Cutlass flapping above her. ‘You too, Monty. Stop picking your flea scabs and do something useful for once in your life.’

  ‘Cheek,’ sniffed Monty, but he bounded after them all the same.

  Captain Halibut stopped on the beach to check the map, although not everyone was paying attention. Cutlass was hunting happily for sand worms, Butch was keeping a nervous eye on a scuttling hermit-crab and Ginger was rolling up her trouser legs and turning her face to the sun.

  ‘Ahh,’ she sighed, beaming. ‘This is lovely. I’m going to get a smashing tan here, lads. Do you think there’ll be anywhere we can get an ice lolly?’

  ‘Cor!’ cried Cannonball, picking up a pebble with a look of glee. ‘I dunno about lollies, but check these out – rocks! Loads of ’em! I can make some rock cakes with these later – special treat!’

  ‘You half-witted walrus, you don’t use real rocks in rock cakes!’ Captain Halibut snapped. ‘You’ll break all our teeth if you try. As for you, Ginger, get over here and help us with this map. We’re not hunting for lollies – we’re hunting for treasure!’

  Cutlass giggled to himself as he thought of a joke. ‘I say, I say, I say,’ he began to Patch. ‘Why don’t pirates get hungry when shipwrecked on a desert island?’

  Patch snorted. ‘Everyone’s hungry with a cook like Cannonball,’ she replied.

  ‘True,’ agreed Cutlass. ‘But on a desert island pirates don’t get hungry … because of all the sand which is there. Sandwiches there! Get it, matey?’